Season 4, Episode 4: Glamour Girl

Howdy ho! Well my New Year’s Resolution was to produce at least one review a month, and since January is over in like 3 days I better get on it! Luckily I actually really enjoy this episode so it should be good times.

We sort of pick up from where the last episode left off, in that Amanda is now performing her riveting new role as a tornado in The Wizard of Oz at the community theatre. The production is extremely low budget and hilarious, with a 40 year old playing Dorothy and a mechanical dog in the role of Toto. Everyone in the audience is laughing their asses off and rightly so.

Yes that black blob thing is Amanda. She accidentally kicks the dog and makes it go flying which makes everyone laugh even more. Busy and Phyllis are both on the cusp of cracking up, Phyllis with a combined look of humour and embarrassment on her face as her only offspring makes a fool of herself in front of their whole community.

Finally Amanda’s costume becomes her undoing and she goes flying backwards, literally crushing the dog. Geez, they are damn lucky they didn’t use a real dog or PETA would be on their asses so fast. At this point the play is really a lost cause as people are losing their shit.

After the play Nina comes up to Amanda, Phyllis and Busy and comes up with a half-assed excuse for making a shitty costume and then runs off. Phyllis tries to be a supportive mother while holding back laughter and tells Amanda she’s still a star, and then also runs off. Amanda bitches at Busy for laughing at her, while Biz points out the literally the whole community centre was laughing at her. Being as overly dramatic as she usually is, Amanda wallows in self-pity for basically suffering the worst humiliation that a human could even though literally only 20 people saw the play.

Next day at school Amanda is still pissed because the school newspaper (has to be a school newspaper, no way a real newspaper would cover this crap), has given unfavourable reviews of her performance. People are also walking by making WHOOSING sounds so I guess news spreads fast when people make asses of themselves at Dorsey Jr. High. Nina tells her to chill out and then they both start getting bitchy towards each other, with Amanda blaming Nina’s costume and Nina blaming Amanda’s performance. I think both of them are probably right.

Later that day Amanda calls Busy to go rollerblading, which Busy promptly forgot about and promised to go shopping with Sag to buy a new slide whistle or something. Busy suggests she go with Nina which Amanda says hell no to as these two hoes are having a tift right now. Amanda then asks Busy if she’s embarrassed to be seen with her which Busy says yes to lol. Aka she was kidding, but of course Amanda takes it serious and starts to have an identity crisis. This girl would really benefit from regular therapy sessions.

Amanda decides to wander the mean streets of Toronto looking for acceptance and discovers some rando modelling agency and goes in. Did we not already have a story line like this in season 1?

So I guess this agency just lets anyone walk in off the street, as I’m sure Amanda had no resume or head shot, but is now all gussied up and about to have a photo shoot take place. She tells the make-up artist how she wishes she looked like this last night at her shitty play. The lady then tells her that modelling is the perfect stepping stone for acting.  She goes on to say that no actresses are ugly (mmkay) and that looks are basically all that matter when it comes to performing. Amanda then says she wants to be known for her talent, and random lady says sure but no one gives a fuck about a school play, but they will notice you in advertisements. Sadly, this is true.

The next day at school Amanda tells Busy about the modelling stuff and Busy is kinda like “well cool if that’s what you want to do.” Amanda gets a bit annoyed that Busy is not immediately supportive, but Busy points out that acting and modelling are not the same and you don’t need to really have much talent other than looking hot to be a model. Amanda becomes more irate and tells Busy she should just support this opportunity because obviously this stupid modelling shoot is going to land her some roles in Hollywood real soon. Busy knows better than to argue with Amanda when she gets in one of her moods and backs off.

A new scene has Amanda in her room looking at herself as per usual. Phyllis comes in to confirm that she checked it out and the modelling agency isn’t really a human trafficking ring. Amanda is like “d’uh”, but Phyllis is like “You’d be stupid enough to be sold into slavery.” Despite it being legit, Phyllis thinks she should come with Amanda, just in case Terry Richardson happens to be the photographer. Amanda tells her that would be uncool and that none of the other girl’s mom’s come with them. Phyllis gives in to her whining daughter’s ways and Amanda is all giddy because she still somehow thinks this modelling shit is going to lead to an Academy Award (yes she actually says that).

Amanda is finally at her real photo shoot where she sits with some weirdo girl who uses hemorrhoid cream on her eyes for bags and drains her hands of blood (seriously, this is what is happening). Finally the boss lady, Ms. Van Dreesen calls Amanda up to strut her stuff.

Thus begins some sassy AF posing.

I have to admit, for someone’s first time doing this, she actually does a really good job. Ms Van Dreseen seems to think so too and even tells Amanda she could possibly be the next Sassy Sara. After she thinks Amanda is out of earshot though, she goes on to tell the make-up artist that she has a huge schnoz and it could hold her back. But of course Amanda actually hears this and begins internally freaking out.

Next day at school Amanda tells Busy about the nose stuff and how she is now considering a nose job. Busy of course is like “you’re an idiot” and tells her that she shouldn’t carve up her face just to make Ms. Van Dreesen happy. Amanda says she basically has to change her whole face to get work but Busy says it won’t be her real face. Honestly nowadays that doesn’t even matter so Busy’s point is pretty moot. Amanda then ends up dragging Busy to the rhinoplasty store.

So they go and Amanda gets right to it trying to book herself a nose job. The receptionist tells her that the doctor won’t see her until he speaks with her parent. Busy then asks the all important question of how much will it cost, with the answer being between $3000 to $5000. Amanda is utterly shocked at this. Stupid teenager.

Of course when Amanda mentions it to Phyllis she laughs in her face and says hell no. Phyllis says if she actually wants to make this modelling stuff work that Amanda needs to use her own body parts. Yeah, she definitely won’t get far in that business, this is way before Photoshop. A knock at the door and we finally meet Phyllis’ new (and finally last) beau, Stephen. Phyllis then puts both of them in an awkward position by asking Stephen to rate Amanda’s nose. More pointless chatter and then Phyllis leaves. So yeah, looks like short of some illegal activity, Amanda is not getting the funds for that nose job.

Later on, Busy is hanging out with Amanda and she’s trying on various noses which Busy remarks all look like Michael Jackson’s. Nah, these noses have actual definition and aren’t two holes in a skull. Busy asks Amanda how she would be paying for the nose job if her mom isn’t giving her the money and she said she’d get the agency to cover it and she’d pay them back after she got her first job. Would an agency actually do this? I feel like they’d have to have a lot of faith in their newbie model. Busy mentions how Sheila’s step mom has had about 10,000 plastic surgeries on her face and as a result it has basically no natural movement anymore but Amanda doesn’t care, because it’s about that cash flow with her.

A short scene afterwards has Amanda at an audition, but this time it’s for some weird foot fetish ad. We also see this girl Angelique who I guess is the top model of this agency.

Back at school Amanda’s trying on various noses and Carla comes by and bugs her to vote of some stupid spirit squad thing, but not before seeing this and remarking that Amanda would look great with a pug nose haha.

Amanda actually lands that foot ad and has to deal with some awkward poses for the photographer. I guess this is to show that everyone starts at the bottom and you won’t be getting Vogue covers your first day.

As to be expected, afterwards Amanda has some major foot cramping from pointing her toes for 20 minutes. As she’s sitting there rubbing them Angelique comes by and starts doing her make-up. She remarks that Amanda is lucky to get foot work as she never does cuz her feet are gross and full of worts (k she doesn’t say that but she did say she doesn’t get foot jobs). Amanda is surprised that someone so beautiful and perfect wouldn’t get every job and Angelique replies that she isn’t perfect at all and is actually getting her nose and chin done tomorrow.  Angelique says she’s basically willing to do whatever it takes to make it in the business and you can tell Amanda is not at that same place as modelling is something she just randomly decided to try doing two days ago.

As a result, Amanda decides no nose job for her. She calls up Ms. Van Dreersen and leaves a voice mail saying her natural nose is staying but if she ever wants to use her again for some foot fetish shots she’s available. Amanda has accepted that for now she’ll have to live out her acting through community theatre. The episode ends with Busy trying to guess the various phases of a tornado while Amanda acts them out.

Overall I liked this episode. At least this time with Amanda’s modelling attempt it sorta went somewhere i.e. she actually got a gig, and also didn’t actually do something extreme like she did the first time with her mini eating disorder. Awww she’s very very very very slowly becoming wiser with age.

Sorry this was posted so late, I have gotten the flu TWICE this year so far, and this past week it really knocked me on my ass. I am only starting to feel better now. So I am hoping to have the next review out on time meaning before February is over.

Next episode, Manny ties the knot. Also featuring a very well known Canadian star who was super dorky in this role.